THE POINT OF PENCILS

This is my desk pencil
ever handy, ever ready
regularly sharpened to tally and rally up numbers
always next to another on my desk

This is my on-the-go pencil
often twisted on it's side
to get instant thoughts on a napkin
tucked in my purse
making marks on my wallet

This is my fancy schmancy pencil
lead encased in a hefty shell shaft
weighted
forever pointed with a slight turn of the fingers
i like it's fine line

This is my let's write for hours pencil
that pals along with a battery operated sharpener
that affords me freedom to roam
pressing onto paper
thoughts of an obsessive thinker
it's very talented. it can write about many things.
It roams over the page sometimes in a little doodle fit
other times gliding into the next thought
It loves to go off the line, or just above it
ignoring the straight and predictable path that somebody made for it
no, this is not the only way
It loves to feel the invention of a new word under it's lead, just for the fun of it.
It's anti-eraser, preferring to adore every stroke, even cross-outs
It sings a smooth song like well-filed nails on a satin blanket...and I do love that.
It's just like this black one and those red ones and that gray one, all huddled together
ready to play, invent, protest, pretend.
This is my rebel pencil, and write it must.

Recipe monologue: ColeSlaw

cut up a fresh cabbage....organic if you can
flop it into a big bowl
grate a large carrot (peeling on for goodness sake) and...that's right, flop that on top of the cabbage
only to mix them together with your hands
roll then squeeze a fresh lemon or two onto mixture (paleeeze no seeds)
salt liberally until it's almost too salty
then pour liquid joy, a.k.a extra virgin (what's that anyway?) olive oil over everything
until it's all very shiny and almost too wet
sing any opera tune you can while tossing this all together with extra large tossing utensils
drop in a handful of dried cranberries for that magic hit of red (optional)
the secret:....lots of everything...and the singing
this is delish with poached salmon and mashed potatoes...or just the mashed potatoes.
yummy.

A Vegetable Spat

Coleslawly speaking
I arugalarly tell you
that I carrot do this now.

If it's not one potato
it's two potato
that's gotten in our way.

I don't know where you've bean hanging.
Oh, stop vining and pepper up
before I squash your little seeds
up the side of your raw cabbage head.

Leaf you alone?!?!

Go get souffled!

(extensions to this spat-prose encouraged)

Parenting From A Greater Perspective

I turned on the t.v. the other day to yet another horrible story of a boy in his teens who had randomly killed 8 people in a busy shopping mall, and then turned the gun on himself. Why didn't he just kill himself? was my initial reaction, feeling deeply as if I had indeed lost someone dear in that sad incident. Then I went into "the greater picture" mode as I often do, trying to figure out why. It's been mulling for a few days and this morning I blink open my eyes to some personal, but I'll bet universal perspectives. Here goes:

Please t.v. station owner, managers, directors, please when you report some bad news include a tale of learning from it so that 1. we are not just fed someone else's angry crap which tends to lodge in us somewhere and make us feel helpless; 2. present us with some directly related information so that we can understand what happened?, how did he get this way? Where did he go wrong? Please. And not as a way to justify such unthinkable behavior nor make excuses for him, but as a way to gleam some tid-bit of information on the importance that early years of development and parenting has on us. This is not to make parents feel bad, guilty, wrong. But rather it can give us all a macro perspective of micro events in our early life....and how they DO shape us as growing people in a society.

Please tell us about the young man's early childhood and I'll betcha bottum dolla he was abused in one way or another. This sparks a thought: I've asked, I've suspected and the horrible truth is that lots of people do not think that children birth to 5 or so are affected by what goes on around them "They won't remember" "Theyre' too young to know the difference" Or this classic tale: "I yelled at him and slapped his hands hard yesterday. He's okay now. See, he's listening now . He just told me he loves me. It always happens like this, it's normal."

The truth is a child may or may not remember particular incidents of deep hurt, insult to their personhood or repeated injustices. BUT he does remember how it made him feel, his disappointment and anger, and his helplessness and dependence on his parent(s) to protect and nurture him. These sink deeply to a child's core and become their obstacle to overcome in life. So that they may move on from them and discover and do their great passion. So that they can become a person on their path, happy, productive in whatever way that is for them for the betterment of himself and....you can betcha bottum dolla, for other people, too.

But, no, he'll spend part of his precious life going to a shrink trying to figure out what happened to him and why it matters so much and why he can't shed it. Or, he'll go out and shoot people so that others will take notice of his to-the-core hurt and see that he IS somebody important.

So please t.v. stations, please let us learn something from tragedy. A blurb on his unfortunate childhood (betcha bottum...you know what) might alert a parent out there in the network ethers that perhaps they can find a compassionate way to change there child's behavior, a compassionate way to get him to listen, a compassionate way to be with him. Little incidents do matter. Often they are one of a 'pattern of being with' that can be destructive and can implant in a child a big boo-boo that never heals.

Taking a huge bound backwards in perspective I see that children understand tone of voice and actions long before they understand the spoken word. Do not think that just because a child is pre-spoken language that he does not get 'the message'. Please be in compassionate ways with our children. If you as a parent are still licking your own wounds, please discover this time of parenting as an opportunity to heal those wounds by not passing them along to your children. Be aware. Notice. Begin to practice self-control. Be gentle with your self and every little step forward you take with this process. Know that parenting is a learning process. Know that there are other ways of being with your child that are more effective and leave happy imprints on your child rather than scars. Respect your child as a seed of great potential. Adore this special time in your life.

I once heard the singer Seale say that being a parent is a such a healing experience. If you have children you have been graced with the chance to heal any boo-boo, no matter how small.

With Love and Respect........

Lynda K.M. Treger
Parenting Coach, Creativity Coach, Speech and Language Pathologist, Child Advocate